Recently on “hold off, Is it a romantic date?” we’re accompanied by Autostraddle CEO and
L Term
expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This episode is all about lesbian interconnectivity â starting up with friends’ exes, pals setting up with these exes, together with culture produced by all those things crisis.
Arrive for any gossip, stay for any mental control. And before that enjoy a-game that exams Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally wouldn’t normally.)
Thanks for all your wonderful opinions after all of our premiere! For those who haven’t however consider providing us with a rating or examine!
PROGRAM NOTES
+ Five years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of all of the my passions.
+ Discover
the article
We reference in which I mention starting up with my roommates.
+ My crush regarding the few days Mj Rodriguez released a songs movie on her track
“one thing to state”
!
+ As somebody who has only viewed a small number of episodes of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush regarding the week C.C. Babcock had been stunning in my experience with regards to turned out she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina informs me they fundamentally still are.)
Drew:
I would be extremely great with-it current. I would never include someone else without their authorization. Nevertheless thought of whenever some one ended up being like, “Confirm that you might be connected to me,” I would end up like, “Yeah, it’s the existence I stayed. I don’t care about.” Usually weird? Would be that a challenge?
Christina:
No, as if I becamen’t, I would personally feel bad not. I might wind up as, “hold off, I am not lying?”
Theme song plays
Drew:
Hi, I Am Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And thanks for visiting
Hold Off, Is This A Date?
Christina:
Wait, So Is This A Romantic Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big questions. Firstly, could it be a night out together? Exactly what are times? That are dates? Can we like dates? These are the method of questions we answer on this subject here very specialist and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I am Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
My name is Christina Tucker. I’m in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer on the net. I’m improving at explaining my self as an author and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is united states. Which is who we’re.
Drew:
Yeah. And therefore our very own primary subject this week may be the Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it needed a sting. I don’t know. That believed really dramatic, but I think it needed it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The most effective quantity of crisis.
Christina:
Thank-you.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
Everyone loves that expression because it sounds like you’ll want to resume the lesbians. It sounds like web connection isn’t really working.
Drew:
Yes. it is very advanced level, very innovative, but has been in existence since there’s been lesbians, In my opinion.
Christina:
Yeah. I think students would state when they found one lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside ones created inside mud. And I believe’s what that flick means, correct? It is more about the data? That film with Kate Winslet and the mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that is what it is more about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
involved cave women. I would enjoy that lesbian movie.
Christina:
Really, as I haven’t viewed it, i’ll courageously declare that it actually was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like we plenty lesbian duration pieces, but we have never eliminated straight back that much. And I believe it’s time we carry out.
Christina:
Let us just keep taking it furthermore back in time.
Drew:
Before we become to the primary topic, you are however getting to know united states. And I also believed it could be fun to experience a casino game for which you men could truly analyze Christina. Thus our very own icebreaker with this few days is actually a little online game that I name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I will be, once more, thus stressed about that. This may you need to be the way in which I come into the video game. This could be my personal video game mentality, somewhat high-key, only a little stressed. Which is ok. We are all understanding.
Drew:
I believe which is great. In my opinion that will push you to be more susceptible, possibly.
Christina:
One of my favorite feelings.
Drew:
Just a terror, simply a severe horror. And so the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually I’m going to describe a situation. Let us refer to it as Christina enthusiast fiction. And I’m planning to pause after each and every small part are love, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure that you have never stayed with someone, don’t want to accept somebody. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And that I will sometimes state yes or I’ll say, “I’m all set.”
Drew:
If you do not â really, we will see here. But I’m excited. I think I possibly damaged the signal.
Christina:
You cracked the signal? I’m excited.
Drew:
Let’s find out how long this requires. Incase you never would, In my opinion you victory? I am not sure just how you’ll find champions here.
Christina:
I am not sure there exists champions when you look at the video game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I am not sure any time you’ll accept that after that. Thus I’m getting heading.
Christina:
Fair adequate.
Drew:
Okay. So, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at your pal’s wedding ceremony. Inspite of the large number of romcoms you consumed, you did maybe not head to this wedding ceremony thinking you had satisfy anybody because, really, this is simply not a romcom. Here is the real and normal life of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking the designated seat and so are glancing at your cellphone once you realize a female at the table is looking at you. She presents herself as your friend’s former baby-sitter. She’s remained a friend associated with family, but she doesn’t truly know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties and has now a striking angular face. You set about chatting. She offers to allow you to get a glass or two. Once she stacks up, you realize she is six feet large, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. Which means you understand what? I am only browsing hold on there and become want, at this time, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am intrigued. I am intrigued because i may get set at the wedding. But at this point I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That’s entirely reasonable. Completely reasonable. Okay. So you spend the whole wedding learning each other. Absolutely just an immediate spark and immediate biochemistry. And certainly, you do get together and also the sex is actually amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And therefore this wedding was a student in Northern Ca. And so you both extend your own remains for a few days to bang and explore and consume at restaurants and screw. And you also provide to divide the price of the now combined space, but she laughs you off and is also similar, “Obviously maybe not, honey.” Therefore, the subsequent three days tend to be magic. You are feeling your wall space tumbling straight down. You are falling faster than you ever have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Thus just for clarity’s benefit, i am having a tough time imagining a world in which we got three surprise times from try to spend time with one i really do perhaps not know. That looks bonkers. In case i did so, best for me personally. But i am not really U-Hauling at this stage. It will be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is fine. You simply met. I get it. I have it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you so much much.
Drew:
So she comes back to ny and you also return to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That is where We stay.
Drew:
And you are texting constantly. That’s where you reside as well as being in which this woman resides. And you’re texting all the time and also you see each other many times per month. She’s really hectic with her job, but she actually is fast purchase you a train violation so you’re able to arrive see their and remain at her breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. And 6 months pass. And one night when you are out to supper, she requires that move around in together. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And relocate to Ny? I don’t love New York. No, I am not moving in at the half a year tag. I’m not carrying out that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Completely, totally, completely. Wow. Okay. And that means you hold dating long-distance. She realizes that needed some time and she’s happy to wait a little for you. A few more several months pass. Its today been over a year. Your own property manager tells you that they are selling your place to a developer that is investing in apartments, so that you cannot renew it. You need to get a hold of a new spot. The now girl informs you that no force, but the woman offer nevertheless stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. Now, I would personally U-Haul for a couple of factors.
Drew:
Yay! Fine. Kindly reveal.
Christina:
Mainly, in a world for which my property manager sold the house to build it, my personal landlord happens to be my closest friend, so seems like anything moved incorrect within our relationship. And I might want to merely keep Philadelphia anyway. Of course I get to maneuver in using my gf over right here, that looks okay. Which is good. Completely great. But yeah, In my opinion I might need an external power like a mean property manager.
Drew:
That’s therefore â fine. I did so think you might want to require casing for there, thus I’m happy I knew that.
Christina:
Yeah. That’s just what actually needs to happen to me 1st.
Drew:
Really, i am happy to understand what it takes. Very in theory, if you weren’t kicked out, how much cash longer?
Christina:
Honestly, that may have gone on for some time. Philly and ny are not also that far from both. I got space over right here. We are moving back-and-forth. We’re having good times. I possibly could have leave that roll for quite some time until i assume Shoshana becomes the worst individual I know.
Drew:
I didn’t realize Shoshana had your own home. Really, there you decide to go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, which was exciting.
Drew:
Well, thank you for playing.
Christina:
I’m pressured, to be clear.
Drew:
And I also’m pleased that I’m sure⦠perhaps in case you are ever, so if anybody’s ever online dating both you and wishes you to move in, perhaps the girlfriend told Shoshana to offer our home for the sake of your connection.
Christina:
Honestly the fastest method â some body would have to communicate with Shoshana and become similar, “merely kick her away.” And then she’d resemble, “Yeah, certain. However.” That would be the way it occurred, regardless if she don’t promote the home. Some body would you should be like, “Could you simply kick this lady out so she’ll only overcome it and relocate with me?” And she would say yes. A hundred percent she would do that. That’s what relationship is actually.
Drew:
I like that.
Christina:
Yeah, that’s really beautiful.
Drew:
Really, personally i think like we learned a large number in regards to you.
Christina:
Thanks A Lot. I’m like I discovered a whole lot about me, also. Danger of homelessness is truly the thing that helps to keep me personally transferring any scenario, i assume. Wow.
Drew:
Well, which is great.
Christina:
That has been really thrilling. I am similarly excited to move into the main part because I think referring to lesbian connection using this guest, because of this unique guest, In my opinion it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. Exactly how are you currently feeling?
Drew:
I am therefore thrilled. This is a specialist. And by that, What i’m saying is an
L Term
expert, but also a little bit of a professional during the subject available.
Christina:
I believe a few things could be true, my friend. I do believe two things is generally genuine indeed. Can we want to present all of our visitor or will we wish our guest to introduce by themselves?
Drew:
I would love our very own guest to introduce by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I will say that our very own guest is the one and only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, talk.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. And it’s also weird becoming the visitor!
Christina:
Yeah, truly.
Riese:
I had never to state such a thing. I didn’t actually do so. I did say circumstances. I had to sit here calmly.
Christina:
While had been actually fearless. As well as your confronts happened to be valued.
Riese:
Thanks such.
Christina:
Though this is certainly clearly a sound medium, i’d like our listeners to find out that Riese was making some very nice effect confronts during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
Absolutely numerous ways becoming heard. You-know-what What i’m saying is? That’s what i state. I will be the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is me. You will find your dog known as Carol. And that I have outdated individuals.
Christina:
Congrats about kickball!
Riese:
Thank you. I’ve been involved with men and women.
Christina:
Great. Adoring that. That’s great to carry to this, this right here online dating podcast. That is great.
Riese:
Yeah. I think that⦠can there be anything else?
Drew:
No, i believe that’s great, Riese.
Christina:
What you may wanna share.
Riese:
I like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
Compared toâ¦
Riese:
You know an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It really is like once you hit. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are gross, therefore I simply just evacuated them from my personal mind.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, I instantly considered you with this topic.
Christina:
That’s true.
Drew:
Because to begin with, demonstrably, queer females and non-binary people in older lesbian community are like, I am not sure, making love with individuals just who their friends had gender with since well before
The L Term
was actually actually ever a set. But i actually do feel just like
The L Term
solidified a specific social concept of the information with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you might have plenty of insight into this subject.
Riese:
It’s genuine. A couple of article writers, i do want to state, of
The L Term
had this real chart of those as well as their pals these people were attracting regarding wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, had been one among them. She talked to united states about this, they had created this. Because clearly, every person for the reason that journalist’s place had fucked others in the copywriter â you understand, while the extended internet of this generation of lesbians in la. And in addition they watched can they were like, “let us place it inside show.” Several of those take the information. Like, one particular exactly who ⦠like, genuine everyone is on the chart as a joke.
Christina:
Which is wonderful. Which is the method that you learn you’ve made it.
Riese:
Isn’t really that adorable?
Christina:
That would be fascinating for my situation.
Riese:
And therefore when you haven’t observed
The L Term,
to start with, congrats. Second of all, it gets the centerpiece of one in our direct character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got it all over the woman wall surface. And it also is the title of a web site which they began labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. As well as the concept ⦠and it’s really during the pilot, In my opinion. In first episode, Alice starts making reference to exactly how every person’s connected, because everybody’s installed because of this person. And that I can hook up you, as you’re most likely only two levels from the me. Which was actually real. Like, despite Dana, that has limited experience because she ended up being a closeted golf player, they however could actually connect their. That is certainly actuality because it’s genuine.
Christina:
That’s society. Yeah. That’s what culture appears like.
Riese:
That is tradition. Which is queer tradition right there. And today every person tends to make their maps.
Christina:
Yeah. In order for would definitely end up being my personal subsequent question, had been have either of you made a chart? Because Really don’t imagine We have, and I am style of now considering like, what was this a year ago resting inside my household for if I did not make a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, really?
Riese:
I believe I’ve done it during my diary, just like like ⦠Because i love, I’m not sure, organizing info, i suppose, as an idea physical exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that’s additionally exactly why Im astonished that You will findn’t completed it. I prefer the thought of categorizing circumstances.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Because it is interesting. I am not sure precisely why it’s thus interesting, but it is. It really is fascinating as love, wow, most of these folks, they can be connected. It really is crazy.
Drew:
Regarding the tv show, when ourchart.com is actually developed, they have a genuine chart that people could add things. And that I feel something that you joked in regards to on
To L and Straight Back,
and then folks state all the time is much like, when this existed in a genuine method, nobody would place their own brands on it, not one person would feel at ease getting their unique labels onto it.
Riese:
You’d.
Drew:
I’d. I’d end up being really fine along with it existing. I would never ever add someone else without their unique authorization. However the thought of like, everytime some one was like, “Confirm that you are linked to me,” I would be like, “Yeah, it is the life I’ve stayed. I do not worry about.” Is that strange? Would be that problematic?
Christina:
No, as if I happened to ben’t, I would personally feel poor not ⦠I would personally end up like, “hold off, I am not about it? Like, i’m very sorry, what?” No, that could in fact deliver me into a light moral stress about which i’m as one, everything I’m undertaking. In the morning I interesting? Do men and women {like